Oh boy!

I believe this pregnancy is starting to take a toll on me. It's 230am and I'm up as usual making my trip to the bathroom but tonight it's different. I'm so sore and I feel like someone has punched me in my pelvis. I'm uncomfortable. It hurts to turn over in bed. I can't sleep. I'm thirsty. I think over did it yesterday. I don't feel like I did anymore more than I would have if I was at work. The only thing that makes me feel better is crying. So guess what I'm doing!?!?  I called work to see how census was but it doesn't look promising. I feel guilty if I call out (on a holiday) and leave my coworkers short staffed. I know how that feels and it sucks. I want to be strong and make it as far as I can and still work but I feel like my working days are coming to an end. My goal was to make it to May 17th. Most days I feel like I can but right now I just feel like I want to stay home.  I love being pregnant.  It's the greatest feeling and blessing in the world but I'm about to the point where I'm ready for it to be over.  Kudos to those who have triplets or more because I feel like there is a constant WWF match in my belly. Kane's head gets lodged up under my right rib cage and causes a sharp pain like someone is pulling my rib cage apart.  At times I can grab Reid's foot when he stretches out and pushes against my belly.  I catch myself laughing because when I pinch his foot it's almost like it scares him because he will immediately pull his leg back like, "What the heck just touched my foot?!?" I may look and act like I'm not scared of what is to come but deep down inside I am. I try not tot talk about it because the more I do the more scared I get.  I'm becoming emotionally, mentally and physically drained.  But I'm a mom and I can't let that get in the way of taking care of Liam and making sure we have clean clothes and dishes to eat on. I feel like every mother birthing multiples that already has children should be sent home from the hospital with a nanny/housekeeper.  That way you can spend all your time with your babies and not have to worry about cooking and cleaning. Oh yeah and moving to another house weeks after delivery!!!!! I try to be positive about it all because being negative will get me nowhere.  People don't understand how I do so much crocheting and sewing with what all I have going on but if I didn't I would be in a psych institute.  That's my stress relief.  That's my time to myself to relax and think about something else other than my stressors. Ok this is becoming a journal entry in the journal I could never keep up with as a child.  I've just never been one to talk or write about my feelings (until nursing school in psych class, haha.) It's 330am now and after staring at this IPad and crying, my eyes are starting to get heavy and maybe I can catch some zzz's before 5am comes along and my alarm goes off to get ready for work. Sorry to those reading this thinking it's about Liam or the twins and have read all the way through my sob story.  At least I feel better about it and hey, it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want, right!?!?  :)